Let's Talk: Meghan Markle, The Firm, & the Oprah Interview

The interview the world was waiting for

It’s nearly been a year since the Duke and Duchess of Sussex, Harry and Meghan, stepped back from being senior members of the British royal family. The couple decided that the best option for their family was to step away from the toxic environment that was The Firm, after all the hate Meghan had received. Stepping away, the couple wished to continue their philanthropic and charitable work and wanted the ability to control their story.

Since stepping away, the couple has lived a quiet life in Meghan’s home state of California with their nearly two-year-old son, Archie, and are currently planning for the arrival of their second child later this year. Many people still criticize their decision to step away, quoting the couple’s desire for privacy and using that against them especially when they announced their desire to continue to publicly help others through their organization, Archewell, which focuses on non-profit efforts and creative media ventures and this where their partnership with Netflix and Spotify comes from. Haters couldn’t — and still can’t — understand the couple’s desire to be able to control the unwarranted negativity they receive, largely from the British press, while still engaging in the philanthropic work that is a core value within the couple’s relationship.

On February 15, 2021, Oprah Winfrey announced she was sitting down with the couple to talk about their life since stepping away and what went into making the decision - including the absurd amount of negativity Meghan has received in the short time she was a member of the British royal family.

Since her introduction into the British royal family, Meghan faced harsh criticism and bullying by the British press and members of the public for simply existing. She experienced it when the Palace announced she was dating Prince Harry, when they announced their engagement, and when they got married. She attracted more negative attention when she was photographed holding her pregnant belly, when she closed a car door by herself, and when she wore black nail polish to an award show - just to name a few. Meghan’s life in the royal spotlight was constantly filled with hate.

I’ve only been a fan of Meghan since just before the wedding in May 2018. I did a deep dive into her work with charities, her acting career, and admired her for her desire to make a real and positive change in the world. Since then I have been a fan of the couple and a loud supporter of their work and the causes they believe in. On the anniversary of Meghan and Harry’s wedding in 2020, I published an article titled In Focus: Meghan Markle speaking about why I admired her and believed that she deserved respect. So, when recent events made headlines over the last few weeks, I knew I couldn’t stay silent as I had a lot of thoughts regarding the pre-recorded interview between Oprah Winfrey and the Duke and Duchess, as well as the obscene and aggressive accusations towards Meghan that has transpired, largely from the British press.

In the days leading up to the release of the sitdown with Oprah, the British press, including evils like Piers Morgan, decided to hype up their abuse levels towards Meghan and shared stories depicting her in a light that they hoped would permanently smear her image. Just in the past week alone, the headlines read that in 2018, Meghan went against Palace aides and proceeded to wear earrings gifted by the Saudi Crown Prince who has been linked to murder. It was also alleged that Meghan was a bully to her staff in 2018, reintroducing the nickname given to Meghan by naysayers - “Duchess Difficult.” Her “American” ways including sending emails early in the morning to Palace staff, and asserting her desire to have things done in a particular way ticked off Palace aids and they began leaking information, things that were meant to remain private, as well as fictitious stories about Meghan to the British press. Who knew being productive and knowing what you want were flaws? I truly wonder if the nickname “Duke Difficult” or something similar would have been bestowed upon a man who entered the family. If he liked to get work started early in the morning or was someone who was confident in what they wanted, would he have received such negative press as Meghan has? But this Black American woman turns up the noses of Palace aides and those inside The Firm. And on another note, last time I checked it was 2021, not 2018. Why are these stories making headlines the week before the interview with Oprah airs? Coincidence? I think not.

The Palace is clearly nervous about what the trio was going to discuss during the interview. The Firm was not informed about the details of the interview beforehand.

“The Firm,” is a nickname for the British royal family. Rumour has it the name was coined by Prince Phillip when describing the family he had married into. Some believe that this way of describing the family dates back decades before Phillip even joined the institution. The family is a business, including all of the people behind the closed doors (referred to as “men in grey suits” by Lady Diana) who are there to put out any fires that any royal member sets (*coughs* Andrew) - or ignite fires under those who they wish to spotlight and ostracize from the rest of the family like Meghan and Diana. While I think it’s important to note that this isn’t a comparison of the two women on who they are as people (because I know a lot of people have an issue with this), and while they share similar traits, this comparison is based strictly on how each woman was treated during their short-lived time as a member of this “family.” Luckily for Meghan, she has a husband who loves her and chose to protect her wellbeing over his duty to an institution that has outlived its relevance. I can’t say the same for Diana and Charles.

And speaking of Andrew, how’s that investigation on him being a sex offender and BFF to child molester Jeffrey Epstein? Oh, that’s right, The Firm likes to protect its own. You know what they say about birds of a feather…

Longtime friends, past coworkers, and supporters of Meghan took to social media over the last week to show their love, support and defend Meghan for the heinous accusations she is facing. Suits star Patrick Adams took to Twitter denouncing the abuse and called out the Royal Family and the outdated institution that supports them. Meghan’s friend of 22 years, Lindsay Roth, shared her support on Instagram along with actress Abigail Spencer, makeup artist Daniel Martin, athlete Serena Williams, and director Silver Tree. Celebrities and public figures like Chrissy Teigen, Gabrielle Union, Meena Harris, Amanda Gorman, and Chance The Rapper have also taken to social media to show their support for Meghan.

The interview that aired Sunday night was honest and revealing. It started as a conversation between Meghan and Oprah, Harry joining for the second hour.

Oprah was surprised by the size of Meghan’s baby bump and congratulated her on the soon-to-be arrival of the couple’s second child. She asked about the sex of the baby, Meghan revealing that they would share the sex later in the interview. Spoiler alert: it’s a girl!

It was revealed that Meghan and Harry had a private ceremony three days prior to their May 19th, 2018 wedding. Only three people were in attendance including the couple and the Archbishop of Canterbury in their garden.

A large topic of conversation between Meghan and Oprah was the lack of truth behind stories that made headlines and a refusal by the Palace to defend those. In particular, the story that broke months following Meghan and Harry’s wedding that “Meghan had left Kate [the Duchess of Cambridge] in tears over the flower girl dresses” - this was a turning point for Meghan. Meghan shared that there was an issue during this time however, “the reverse [had] happened”. It was actually Kate that had made Meghan cry and not what the press was reporting. Meghan shared that she was really struggling during this stressful time. She faced the pressures of her soon-to-be wedding with millions of people watching but she was also struggling with a personal issue - her strained relationship with her father that was being exploited by the press as well as his health concerns. While Meghan wished to not get into the details of the disagreement with Kate, she did share that Kate had apologized and that Meghan had forgiven her so when a story made headlines that Meghan apparently made Kate cry during the days leading up to the wedding, she was confused. Everyone in the institution knew the truth of what really happened but no one was willing to share the truth and fix the story.

Oprah brought up the ongoing comparison between the two ladies. The cradling of the baby bump and the consumption of avocados, stories that had made headlines time and time again when both women were pregnant but in very different tones. Meghan believed that this was their way of pinning the two against one another. The press “wanted a hero and villain” in their stories - an outdated trope of pinning two successful women against one another because there could only be one. However, Meghan commented, “If you love her you don’t have to hate me [and] if you love me you don’t have to hate her”.

Meghan truly believed that she would be protected by The Firm however, she quickly realized that this was a lie. Soon after the couple married, the negative and hateful press coverage started to worsen and she realized that she wasn’t being protected. The Firm was willing to lie in order to protect other members of the family and not to tell the truth to protect Meghan and Harry.

She noted a sort of “family business” consisting of the family and the people running the institution. Meghan had felt welcomed by the family - especially the Queen. Meghan shared “the Queen has always been wonderful to me” as she recounted one of her first royal engagements following her wedding.

After years of using her voice to advocate for women’s empowerment, Meghan shared that she felt like she was being silenced by the institution. There had been times where she hadn’t left her house in months but her name was splashed across the headlines. She asked for permission to see friends for lunch but was advised it was best to keep out of the spotlight. She described this as “I’m everywhere but I am nowhere” and unable to defend myself.

A turning point for Meghan was during the Australia tour in 2018 when the couple announced they were expecting their first baby. Shortly after the couple shared their news, Meghan learned that there would be no security for Archie because there were no plans to give him the title of prince and with a title comes security. While the press made it seem like Meghan and Harry had made the decision to modernize and not give their child a title, as if it was up to them. If having a title and security went hand-in-hand, the couple wanted their child to be protected no matter what.

Under protocols established by George V in letters created over 100 years ago, the children and grandchildren of a sovereign have the automatic right to the title HRH and prince or princess. This is when Meghan realized that there was a concern by members of The Firm (family and their staff) was that Meghan and Harry’s child’s skin tone would be an issue and a contributing factor to why the child wouldn’t be receiving a title. This had shocked Oprah so much that she asked multiple times for clarification regarding Archie’s skin tone being an issue. Meghan had learned this would be an issue through conversations Harry had with members of the family. When Oprah pressed her for the details of who would say such racist things, Meghan said that it would be “very damaging to them” if she exposed who brought up the topic of race.

Meghan shared that she reached a low point, coming to Harry saying the “[she] didn’t want to be alive anymore”, hating that she was saying this to him after everything he had been through with the loss of his mother. This was another revelation that had surprised Oprah as she was not expecting Meghan’s mental health to have reached such a low point. Meghan shared the countless times she had approached different people, pleading for help because she was struggling. When met with the Palace’s human resources team, they acknowledged the number of despicable things that were being said about Meghan in the press but they still couldn’t allow her to seek help because she wasn’t a paid member of the institution. She “thought it would be easier for everyone” if she just ended her life.

Harry joined the pair sharing his disbelief that when the couple was living in Canada in 2019/2020, their security would be taken away, regardless of the fact that there was still a very real security threat to the family. Tabloids had shared the exact location of the house they were staying in while in British Columbia. Harry shared that “[his] biggest concern was history repeating itself” and adding race and social media into the mix, he was terrified for his wife and his family’s safety.

Harry shared that the reason they had stepped down as senior royals was because of a “lack of support and understanding” and if they had that, they would’ve stayed.

When speaking about his mother, Harry shared that he believed Diana would have been angry and sad how things panned out “but all she ever wanted was for us [Harry and William] to be happy”. He believes that she almost expected something like this to happen.

Oprah brought up the conversation she had with Meghan regarding members of the family having an issue with the idea that Meghan and Harry’s kids' would appear Black and that played a large role in why their children wouldn’t be receiving titles or security. Harry was visibly uncomfortable and almost angry when speaking about it, sharing that he wasn’t comfortable discussing the details of the conversation he had on multiple occasions with members of his family and never planned to publicly speak about the details. This was Harry continuing to protect his family although none of them did anything to protect him.

When asked about the status of his relationship with members of his family, Harry shared that no relationship was the same as before. His relationship with his grandmother he believes to be much closer than before. Harry shared that he has spoken with the Queen more in the last year than he has in many other years. He believes he has a good relationship with her and holds a lot of respect for her.

His relationship with his father, however, took a turn. Harry shared that while his father had been through a similar situation and knows the pain Harry and his family have gone through, he is hurt by the way his father handled the situation. At one point Charles had stopped taking Harry’s phone calls, something Charles had done when his relationship with Diana was ending.

When asked about his brother, Harry said that he “loves him to bits but we are on different paths” in life. He believes that time will heal their relationship.

When asked about their son Archie, the couple grew visibly lighter sharing some of Archie’s favourite words to say.

Meghan shared that the only regret she has from the whole situation was believing The Firm when they said they would protect her and that she could’ve done more to prepare herself for the abuse she would receive.

I was emotional watching the interview last night. Meghan’s vulnerability and strength were boldly displayed and Harry’s love and support for his wife and children were evidently clear. It broke my heart to hear that Meghan had reached such a low point mentally, thinking that she would make everyone’s life easier if she would take her own. The topic of their future children’s skin tone was another dark moment for me. I know racism is alive and thriving and while there are many people who are working hard to change this twisted way of thinking, there are still people in powerful and influential positions still projecting this hate - whether in public or in this case, behind closed doors. I knew it was happening but yesterday’s interview was another reminder of why we must work that much harder to come together, believe the stories of BIPOC individuals, and not silence them with our own ignorance.

This morning Piers Morgan shared that he believed Meghan was lying about her mental health. This was another attempt to silence a Black woman and invalidate their feelings. He doesn't deserve his platform if he's going to perpetuate such hateful things.

I truly hope that this brave display of vulnerability by Meghan and Harry last night shows those who have doubted them that their hate is unwarranted. I hope this interview has brought Meghan and Harry peace knowing that their truth is out there.

I am Team Meghan and Harry through and through. I wish them love and light as they continue their life together.

xx Lex

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A special thanks to Laura McCallen for allowing me to use one of the stunning photos she took in March 2020 of Meghan and Harry at Westminster Abbey in London for this piece. If you’re ever looking for someone to follow who posts gorgeous photos of Europe (lots of London) and The Royal Family, follow @laura.mccallen on Instagram!

*Photos without a hyperlink are my own, taken and edited by me.